Phone Sex 101
So what are you wearing? This line, probably more than any other, gets used to initiate 99% of most first time phone sex purveyors. Why mess with an old standard? Because even in this arena of sex there are pros and amateurs and you never want to be an amateur when it comes to any type of sex. Don’t worry, we’re here to help, and this little phone sex 101 should give you some pro points on how to make the most of this alternative sex.
Who to have phone sex with?
When most people talk about phone sex they think of some guy calling a 1-800 type number and getting a quick sexual fix. Paid phone sex to me just seems a little lame. This guide will not discuss it because if you’re paying for it, just jack off as quickly as you can to some woman (or dude pretending to be a woman) moaning and groaning.
Best case scenario is your girlfriend/boyfriend. Phone Sex can be an extension of your normal sexual activities. Just imagine your girlfriend giving you a call late at night, she tells you about her sexual fantasies, and you enjoy a blissful phone sex moment. However, you take that phone sex and expand it outward into something later on. You may just discover that your significant other has fantasized about bdsm, role playing, or any other number of topics that may not have been discussed in the course of regular sexual activities.
Phone Sex though is often a replacement or a substitute for someone that’s not in a relationship. You might find yourself trolling the world wide web for phone sex partners. People you meet in chatroom, online gaming venues, forums, etc, but always approach the topic in a playful flirting sort of way and see where it goes.
Also online dating venues might just be another avenue for you to find a phone sex partner. After all some people are just looking for a release outside of their normal everyday lives.
How to have phone sex?
Call someone. Breath heavy. Masturbate. Okay, that’s the basic version, but for a more fulfilling phone sex experience you need to be willing to paint a scenario of an erotic nature. From personal experience you can start the conversation off with sexual questions. Learn about your phone sex partner by asking them something that will perhaps open them up, perhaps have them give you clues on where they want to go with the conversation. From those clues you expand a scenario based on their wants and you go with it.
Remember phone sex is basically detailed fantasy. If you ask the right questions and discover the woman loves to wear sexy lingerie, work off that topic, ask how they’d like to taunt you, tease you. It’s about listening, reacting, and turning the conversation into a steamy phone sex session.
As an example, one phone sex experience I had all started on the topic of erotic words. I asked the question, “What’s your favorite sex term” and my girlfriend at the time was a little shy. So I took control and told her my two favorite words were fondle and straddle. From those two words a discussion opened, she started saying the words, started including them in the session, and suffice it to say it was really liberating for her. For weeks after she would whisper those words in my ear whenever we were together.
You’ve had phone sex…now what?
If you’ve had phone sex with your significant other use it as a jumping off point to other sexual activities. If you discover your girlfriend wants to role play as a naughty nurse, french maid, or secretary, go with it. Sexual relationships need to have growth and expand outward and phone sex can be the perfect avenue for that.
If you’ve had phone sex with a casual person you met online it most likely will go no further than getting a quick sexual pleasure. The reality is that you most likely won’t meet this person in real life. That’s not to say that it wouldn’t expand to something more, but it might just be two lonely people having a safe sexual phone fling with each other. The cautionary tale here is not to become too addicted to phone sex. Phone sex is a great thing, but it shouldn’t replace physical contact with others.
If you’ve had phone sex and paid for it. Just don’t get hooked on it, it’ll cost you plenty, and why pay when you can get it free?
This is the first post in our new sex advice column. We’ll be adding a Q & A type feature in the future. We’ll also get some pornstars giving their advice on sex.
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